When we deny and squash the parts of ourselves that we find unacceptable they are eventually “acted out” in some way. It’s the time when you “blow up” at a small thing for instance. The root cause of this incident was most likely something in the past that wasn’t expressed at the time. Physical illness can also express squashed emotions. For instance, back problems may express a fear of being left unsupported. Tooth problems may express resentment. Denying your true feelings, whether positive or negative, also causes stress, mood swings and low self-esteem. In addition, if you think about it squashing part of yourself isn’t going to help you grow!

We need to work on ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually in order to integrate the shadow. Expressed appropriately negative feelings such as anger envy & jealously can be helpful. Taking exercise when we are angry helps to dissipate the energy from the anger. Channelling jealousy in to new creative hobbies or projects is much more beneficial than giving the evil eye to the person you are jealous of. If you envy someone’s success ask yourself why? What is lacking in your life in this case and how can you achieve what you want? Plan and make goals.

Learning how to express yourself fully, when to speak up and when to walk away for example, is often a life long task. Once you integrate your shadow and make it work for you rather than against you however, you will feel stronger. Like so many things in life, it takes practice and you won’t get it right every time. Luckily life always gives us more opportunities to try again